Achieving your Goals and dreams is supposed to be hard, painful, and stressful, right. Well, that may not be true for all students. It all depends on the mindset/ Approach. Most of the toppers I have met were happy, relaxed, joyful, excited, and enthusiastic (and not burnt out). So what’s is that approach where we remain Happy and excited and still achieve our goals?
But before we understand Toppers Approach let us find out how most of the students work.
The model on which the majority of students work is DO-HAVE-BE. DO the work first and then HAVE the results and then BE happy.
The problem is happiness comes in end and is dependent upon results. Happiness before having the results is not seen in a good sense.
This approach produces a lot of stress as the entire journey is stressful as you are always chasing the end goals. So is it possible to reach your maximum potential when you are not happy and always scared that you might not achieve the end goals? Also, you never reach your peak because you perform at peak levels only when you are happy inside. The happiness inside determines the peak outside; it converts you from a victim to a victor.
What about the average student who may not always achieve the desired results. According to the DHB model, he does not have the right to be happy. So in other words the DHB model takes away our right to be happy if we don’t get the desired results despite trying our best. It does not value hard work and sincerity and rewards the only achievement of Goals.
In the DHB model, happiness is short-lived while stress, tension, and anxiety are all over the preparation/ journey. You are always chasing something which is always elusive. Happiness is momentary as you start chasing fresh Goals after achieving the current ones.
Toppers believe in a formula that can change anyone’s life in an instant. I call it the BE-DO-HAVE. It’s always better to BE relaxed and happy, first and then, DO your studies. This will automatically improve the quality of the HAVE (Result) you get.
BDH model is not only exciting and rewarding and less stressful but the success rate is also higher.
Toppers happily achieve results and the average student tries to achieve a result to feel happy.They don’t worry too much about the result.
Dhoni in an interview said that his passion was cricket and whenever he played cricket he played with 100% intensity and commitment but he never worried whether he would get selected in the Indian cricket team or not. Similarly, when you prepare for any examination you should not worry too much about the outcome and failure instead give your hundred percent commitment. What is important is the process, not the result. You should enjoy the journey rather than worrying too much about the destination.
Preparing for any competitive exam is a long journey. In this journey, there are no short term outcomes/ motivators. We have to set our benchmarks so that rather than worrying about the results our objective should be to take our preparation to next level & unless we are happy and we enjoy the process you won’t be able to do it.
We shouldn’t do things so that we can be happy but we should be Happy before so that we can do things.
It is scientifically proven that Happiness and Positive emotions create dopamine and serotonin (hormones). When these hormones are released in the body, it has a positive impact on the brain, i.e. increases a person’s memory and learning ability.
Research says people in a happy state are better at solving problems than people who are negative and neutral. You reach your peak easily, things start looking easy and you start enjoying studies.
First we “be” what we want (peaceful, loving, inspired, abundant, successful, or whatever), then we start “doing” things from this state of being – and soon we discover that what we’re doing winds up bringing us the things we’ve always wanted to “have.”
3 types of student Mindset :
- Casual student Mindset: His approach is Have Do Be. When I have sufficient time and resources/good teachers/school/facilities, I will do things and Be happy. He is waiting for the externals to change. Always blaming others
- Average student Mindset: This student is all about DO HAVE BE. DO the work first and then HAVE the rewards for the work done and then BE happy or content with life.
- The Winner Mindset: The winner orients their life quite differently: BE DO HAVE. BE relaxed and happy, DO your studies and Have results
- Students in quadrant 1 are in most casual stage and always in their comfort zone.
- Students in Quadrant 2 are in an ideal stage as they have maintained the right balance between their goal fulfilment and their happiness.
- Students in Quadrant 3 are the one who get trapped in negative spiral as they are neither working to achieve their goals nor they are happy with their condition.
- Students in Quadrant 4 are engaged in hard work but they hardly get time for themselves and that is why they are always sad and tired.
Boris Becker once said after loosing I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I love to play. In other words, it is easy to reach a destination if we love the journey. Remember Toppers who adopt the BDH approach
- Have a strong belief system and ‘Why’ is clear.
- Enjoy the process.
- Move out of comfort zone.
- Do not worry about the result.
So don’t postpone happiness. When our ultimate goal is to be happy, why do we postpone it to the future, and even if required why don’t we do things which make us happy. Believe me, it will help you boost your preparation.