It is never the parents’ intention to separate their children from themselves. As a quote is very popular, “A kid is always a kid for the parents.” These words show us the immense love between the relationship of parents and children. But, the two statements, “You know nothing! I know life better as I’ve experienced it.” And “This is my life and I know better.” have been contradicting each other since decades. Don’t you remember as kids we used to think when our parents were doing something which was inappropriate to us, we used to think that we won’t do this to our kids. Then why when your kid comes to confess something that is inappropriate for you as a parent you just shout at your kid. Parents can’t stand to see their kids in any sort of mess, so they put their kid through this. But, don’t worry, most of us make these parenting mistakes that push their kid away and then s/he starts to hide things because of fear.
It is always hard to raise a kid no matter what the age is! But, when the topic of teens comes up, we worry a lot about what to do and what not to do! Teenagers themselves have many problems because of internal and external physical changes that occur during adolescence. The hormonal changes raise a pile of thoughts and questions in their mind. And, therefore as parents we need to understand them as well as their
Following are some tips that will tell you the parenting skills you need & do’s and don’ts for raising your teens that will help you to not do those mistakes:-
● Don’t panic if your teen is demanding for more freedom!
As they are growing, they want to experience things that they heard on television or from the friends around us. Don’t feel as if they are being disrespectful to you or they don’t value your decisions. Just try to make them free, ask them to make rules for themselves regarding the time for coming home, the time for self study ..,etc. Let them experience and discover things. By making their own rules, they will become much more responsible and mature.
● Don’t judge them
Mostly we compare them with different kids and ask them to become like them and this is the worst thing a child has ever heard. Understand one thing, your child is yours why you want to make him like the one your neighbour already has! You don’t want the same dress as your neighbour! Just tell them to do what they want, support them as their friends do. Also, when you see your kid making a mistake, make her/him understand through examples to correct the bad behaviour and not by showing anger.
● Listen to them
The teens are very much into sharing things whatever they do good, bad or even the worst mistake. They search for people to whom they can share anything. Try to make the relationship friendly from the beginning and create a healthy balanced childhood for them. When they come to tell you something, just stop making the dinner or don’t clean the dishwasher (you can do it later also). Try to show that you are always there to listen to them. This will strengthen your relationship.
● Don’t decide for them
Try to understand the basic nature of your children. Don’t decide what they will be doing on Sunday for aunt’s birthday! Most of the teens avoid gatherings and parties as they are not comfortable. So never decide that they will be definitely doing what you’ve decided. Try to ask them what their plans are for the weekend. Does s/he plan to go to a friend’s birthday or did she/he get shouted at again by the math teacher? Conversations like these will help your teen to trust you.
● Spend time
Spending time with each other clears a lot of misunderstandings and helps us to understand each other in a better way. Choose a destination for spending time with family. Make memories, share happiness and the feeling of love. This will improve in building up a happy family.
Also, please remember No parent is perfect. We all are learning and growing with our kids. No problem if you mistakenly do something inappropriate. We learn from our mistakes and experience only. Yet, there are things parents do to push their teen away. Stop making these parenting mistakes. Keep your child close by listening to them, spending time with them, supporting them, accepting your mistakes and telling them their mistakes in such a way that they won’t get upset or be disrespectful to you.